What would a “Just Right” response look like?
When you’re frustrated or disappointed with a colleague or direct report, you must remember that a message sent in haste can strain or ruin a relationship. Before communicating, take a breath and ask yourself:
- What do I want to happen next? Think about your answer and respond in kind.
- How should I respond? If, for example, you want to be in the loop on a project, saying “I’m concerned that I wasn’t included in that decision” is clearly a better choice than “I can’t believe you didn’t include me!” Or, if you asked for follow up and didn’t get it, you might say something like, “I didn’t see the follow up on that project. Everything, okay? Could I get a note from you today on the details?”
- Listening is a powerful force. If you listen to people, they’ll most likely return the favor. Be curious and ask relevant questions. Affirm that you’ve understood their perspective by reframing.
- When should I communicate? Wait until you can approach the conversation with curiosity, compassion, and clarity, and until the other person is likely to be open and calm.
- Remember the three basic questions to ask yourself:
- What do I want them to know?
- What do I want them to feel?
- What do I want them to do?
- The same works in reverse:
- What do they want me know?
- What do they want me to feel?
- What do they want me to do?
- And the BIG questions:
- Is this issue relevant to our goals?
- Does it align with our MVP? (mission, vision, values, and purpose)
- Is it worth our time?
Related article by Peter Bergman: https://goo.gl/U9Jhqf
Have a “Just Right” week.